It’s inevitable to feel tired, drained, exhausted, and lacking creativity as we approach Christmas. New things take away your time – present shopping, food shopping, cooking, visiting family and friends. Making time for others and especially if you’re a mum – that time multiplies! Slowing Down To The Year’s End – Don’t Beat Yourself Up, you are doing the best you can! We all are!
So this is Christmas And what have you done?
John Lennon’s voice rings in my ears, but instead of thinking about war, (as the song intended) – I think about how quick a year goes and how we forget to hold onto what matters.
2022 Was Not A Good Year
A year of loss and regret can drag you down. It did for me. Some of you may be wishing for the year to be over already. I certainly did, at least I did a few days ago as the words fell out of my mouth:
“2022 – The worst year of my life”
I may have been a bit dramatic. It hasn’t been all bad, lots of wonderful things have happened. But in some ways it has been a terrible year. And if you can’t get frustrated and speak the words you have bubbling inside, then when can you speak your truth? I’m sure I’m not the only one here who’s had a tough year…
The final straw to make me utter such a statement was when myself, my husband and our toddler were caught in a snow blizzard.
Trapped In A Snow Storm
We were to spend Christmas with family in Ireland. A trip we had done many times but this time it had turned into an epic expedition that we considered calling off altogether! We set off from the scottish highlands in snow (which had been on and off for a week prior but had no real issue on the roads). When we left that morning in the car, the snow didn’t stop. And as we drove on we realised we couldn’t turn back, and we couldn’t stop – we had to keep going. We were trapped and edging closer towards deeper and thicker snow. In the end we were caught in a snowstorm, cars were abandoned at the side of the road as the snow swallowed them up.
I started to panic. Not for our lives, but the worry that we may not make it to our hotel, and our ferry the next morning.
You see, I like to stay in control. I like to be good at things I apply my attention to. And when things don’t work out to how I planned – I can’t function.
I had snacks, my toddler slept at his scheduled nap time, and I made sure that the time we arrived at the hotel would coincide with our toddler’s dinner and then bedtime. I was planning ahead. Planning everything as mothers generally do.
But the snow storm showed me just how little control I have.
Letting Go
We were just another car crammed between two hundred cars all at the mercy of the weather. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and I had to let go, I could only do so much. I had to let go of any arrangements, plans, and upsets to my toddler’s schedule. I had to let that grip loose for my own sanity at least. It did’nt matter how stressed I felt, it made no differece to the outcome of the situation.
I needed to let go and surrender to what was bigger than me.
We had been there for over five hours trapped in the same spot and were expecting to spend the night in the car. I made sure my toddler was comfortable, watered, fed and that was all I could do. My husband and I had to forgo eating anything as the snacks were only enough for our little one. I accepted that I would be sleeping in the backseat next to him, while my husband would be in the front.
I had accepted it, as I had to accept what had happened to me this year.
I can’t control everything – sadness will come. I just have to dance between the currents, and ride the wave.
And….Breathe
In the end, we got out of the snowstorm. The scare we had in the snow was just that – a scare. It showed me that I need to loosen my grip on things. I can only do what I can. Life keeps moving. And no matter what I do, it will keep on moving.
So after a rather stressful journey, I am in a house that’s warm and comfortable with twinkling Christmas lights around me. I have everything to be thankful for and I can’t loose sight of that.
I am also giving myself permission to slow down. It is a busy time of year, and I won’t be able to write and be as creative as I usually am, but that’s OK. I am being kind to me.
And you need to be kind to yourself too.
It’s a time to slow down, but you don’t need to stop completly. If you are finding it tough to dedicate time to your art or your creativity, that’s understandable. You have permission to let go and loosen that grip too.
I have still been waking early in the mornings, but not as early as I have done all year. It’s very difficult to leave a warm bed and walk down the stairs into a cold dark kitchen with the rain pounding at the windows!
I know I may get very little writing done but any writing is a win. It’s important to rest, but it’s also important to carve out a little time for you. You time. And if that involves a tiny bit of creative space, then make that time – that’s the key to keeping you energised.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
If you’re like me and you’ve had a tight grip on things, loosen it. Relax a little this festive season. Make time for your creativity, but show yourself kindness, compassion and understanding that it will not be perhaps your most ‘productive’ time.
This is my letter to you to take care of yourself, don’t beat yourself up for the things you are, or are not doing – because you are doing the best you can. Ride that wave, let go. Release those expeditations you have on yourself.
If anything, give yourself a pat on the back and relish this slower time.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you still make time for your creativity around Christmas? Are you struggling to keep on top of everything?
If you enjoyed this, please have a peek at my previous post – How to keep your creativity alive when you’re blocked
PIN FOR LATER – Slowing Down To The Year’s End – Don’t Beat Yourself Up
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