Calm Before the Storm? How Easily Negative Thoughts Can Creep Back

I thought my mindset was good. I worked at it, and even blogged about it, always being conscious of what affects my mindset and how to get it back to a ‘good mindset’. Or so I thought, but a series of unfortunate events left me spiralling backwards. My creativity suffered, but most of all my mindset suffered. “Calm Before The Storm? How Easily Negative Thoughts Can Creep Back. It happened to me…

The last month has been exhausting. If things were going to go wrong then they would. Getting stuck on wintery roads more than twice, vomiting bugs, sudden rush to A&E, and that wasn’t all.

It was relentless.

I said to someone just yesterday, that there’s just no rest – no peace, I just want all to be calm and feel content again. Drama is following me and my family and I want nothing to do with it. Their response was – that if anything happens, it’ll happen in January. Pipes bursting, illnesses, a slog to get through it. What’s more is many people feel lonely around this time too – especially as most households stay indoors for the majority of winter!

This morning is the first day I’ve felt more like myself after being bed-bound but as I looked outside I saw everything covered snow, and I felt my whole body sink. I immediately went to the negative. I thought of all the things that could go wrong, it would happen as a result of the snow – our expected food delivery not to show up because of the snowy roads, being trapped for days on end, not seeing anyone for I fear I need human connection.

I live in a very rural place. Our nearest supermarket is an hour’s car drive and it’s essential to have a working car, without it you’re stranded.

So I woke up feeling dread of all the worst things that might happen. Then I got up, had a glass of water and looked at the falling snow more closely. I saw tree branches covered in thick white and the horses next door munching on hay. I wrapped my cardigan around me tight and made breakfast. In that time I had forgotten the biggest negative that had been hanging over me for some time had lifted… I am well.

I’m no longer in a nausea heap on the bed. I’m up and about – walking, looking at the beautiful falling snow: I can do more with my day than I thought.

Since spring last year, I’ve had a cloud over me. Everything bad that happens I think: well of course, this is just what happens now! I attract negativity. (Even saying those words out loud makes me shudder!) But I did think this way.

I don’t want to think this way anymore. I don’t want to be a victim anymore.

Since then the snow has fallen thick, fast and continues to cover the landscape. All I see is white. And I’ve ventured out in it, treading through the snow with a dull crunch. Leaving my footprints. I get a sense of peace. All around me is still, apart from twittering birds above me, the snow has brought calm.

I realise – I was looking for calm all along and I’ve got it. What do I want to do with the calmness? I had asked for calm and now it’s here..

So I’m taking time to get well again. Hydrate, eat nutritious food and come back to myself again. I’m not pushing myself to deadlines, I’m listening to my body for I must take care of it. It’s my shell, and if it’s cracked in anyway, then I cannot be fully present in enjoying life.

So this is just to say, if you’re unwell – and so many of us are during winter. Take care. Don’t fight it. It’s temporary and will make you realise what’s important to you.

YOUR TURN

Are you struggling with the tough aspects of winter? Let me know I’m not alone!

If you enjoyed this, have a look at my previous posts such as – How to get back into good habits after a break?

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