Do you find you are critical? Perhaps not so much of others but more of yourself? Or maybe that critical voice has been a part of you for so long, you’ve just accepted it as part of your personality? Here I share my thoughts on How To Overcome Negative Self Talk
That familiar voice lurking …”why did you do that? you numpty!”
Negative Voice Within Many Of Us
Recently a friend of mine left me a voicemail. We often do this where we record our voices and send them as little messages – both living on opposite sides of the world and with kids, it seems to be easier to stay in touch that way. Anyway, I listened to her beautiful voice talk about everyday things, but something was becoming apparent – there was a negative voice throughout. Not in a serious way, but more a playful way, nevertheless in almost every sentence she put herself down. “I don’t know why I said that to them, it was stupid” etc.
Well, with me being the protective type (and bossy type I will admit!) I contacted her and told her to stop this damaging negative self talk immediately. I found it sad that such an amazing beautiful soul was doing this to themselves.
Then after I made my views clear, because I can’t shut up when it comes to sharing my opinion! (whoops there I go with negative talk!), I went about my life shaking my head at how horrible my friend had talked about herself.
The months followed…it began to occur to me – I do exactly the same thing!
Here was me spouting about removing negative talk and here I was day in day out chastising myself for the smallest of things.
“You havent cooked a good enough meal”
“You’ve not been outside enough today – that wont be good for the baby”
The list goes on.
How Does Negative Talk Happen & Its Effects?
Negative inner voice could stem from childhood. In situations where we are out of our comfort zone, we are particularity sensitive to failure, “I can’t do this – I’m a failure!” It’s important this language is not encouraged, but I can relate – I would say these things to myself as a child, a teenager, an adult!
Negative self-talk can enhance anxiety and depression. It can destroy self-esteem and can increase stress, all of which understandably affects your mood – and can lead to exhaustion and burnout.
Steps How To Overcome Negative Self Talk:
- Acknowledge what you’re feeling – if you hear/feel that negativity, take a moment to notice what you are saying to yourself and why you are so negative about it.
- Healing that part of you. This will be an ongoing process to find why you are negative and for different people different processes might help. You could listen to affirmations every morning, appreciate the things in your life, or visualise a healing white light on you, or perhaps if you are religious you could send a prayer up to help you.
- Forgive yourself. It’s easy to say, and difficult to do. But you are human, mistakes happen, it’s a part of life. Forgive yourself and show yourself compassion.
Afterthoughts
This is a topic that can affect people differently. Working through and healing from negative thinking is an ongoing process, and what works for you may be different to others, so give things a go and see if you notice positive effects. The most important thing is that you are acknowledging negative self talk. Once you can see it, then you can start to put into practise the steps you need to take. For me I practise gratitude and send a loving light to myself when I feel that critical voice.
What About You?
Have you experienced this in your life? If so, do you have you any tips on How To Overcome Negative Self Talk?
If you enjoyed this, have a look at my previous posts such as How To Stop Taking Things To Heart
Till next time, dear reader.
CG
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