Proving yourself to others can leave you exhausted, especially if you are not being your true self and being someone you think is being projected on you. Being your authentic self can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, which can be scary. But feeling like you are constantly proving yourself can harm you in the long run, so I look into reasons why you need to stop proving yourself to others.
When I had given birth to my son, I was confronted with many emotions – some wonderfully beautiful…some not!
It was amazing bringing a new life into the world, but as the fuzzy sea of hormones faded, I felt I was on a timer to get things organised and launch into productivity. Each day I would take care of the baby, but in between I would put pressure on myself to do so much more. I believed I needed to use that small amount of free time to ‘find myself’, get a business idea together and start planning the rest of my life. At the end of each day, I found that I would justify what I had done with my day (outside my baby), that when my husband would come home from work I would list every productive task I had done that day.
Being productive is applauded, but who am I trying to explain myself to?
I realised it was me I was proving to, I was not comfortable in ‘just’ being a mum so I fought to make my days be ‘more’ than being a mum. Which then manifested into explaining myself to others, hoping no-one would think that I’m ‘just’ a stay at home mum.
Who are you proving yourself to?
It’s important that you are only proving yourself to you. We all have our own goals, but if that voice in your head is never satisfied with your achievements, then you need to stop and figure out why. Why are you uncomfortable in your life?
You don’t need to have everything figured out
Stop proving yourself to others
Life is not a race. It can feel like it is sometimes – people around you have the dream job, the dream family and you are still struggling. You need to stop comparing yourself to others, we are all in different seasons of life. Stop looking so much ahead and be grateful for what you have now. Just by thinking of what you are grateful for can help your mindset think more positively. Look at my blog post on How to Practise Gratitude.
Society rewards the productive
We are forever told that being women, we can have everything now – the dream job and the family…apparently it’s that easy! Who knew? (I hope you can hear the sarcasm jump from the page?)
We need to have the house, the dream job, the happy family, the money, the car, etc etc. Oh and if there’s time still in your life, maybe try a side hustle?
Society measures achievement and worth through materialistic things, so being as productive as possible means working more, means more money. We need to be busy all the time, it seems.
Are you just lazy?
If you are reading this, then I can guarantee that you are not ‘just lazy’. You are striving for more, looking for self-improvement, maybe too much self improvement that it’s wearing you out? There’s too much information out there telling you to do courses, listen to podcasts, learn new things when you’re having a walk! It’s great we have access to all this new information, but we are bombarded with it daily.
Why you need to stop proving yourself to others
Ideas To Help Encourage you to stop proving yourself to others
- Have a detox. If you usually listen to a podcast while you commute to work, why not put on music instead? Allow your mind to wander, I bet it’s been a long time since you just listened to music?
- Embrace self-compassion. If you find you are talking negatively to yourself, please stop. Think this way – would you say anything like that to a friend who is experiencing the same feelings as you? I bet not.
- Get to know your good traits. On one page of paper, write down things you like about yourself. Jot down some skills, qualities, anything. Try not to overthink and give yourself ten minutes to do this. For example – I am kind to others, I love escaping in music, I cry at the smallest things – I’m in touch with my emotions.
Your turn
Have you felt that you needed to prove yourself to others? How have you coped?
If you enjoyed this, have a look at my previous posts such as Become More Self Assured & Stop Waiting For Acceptance
Leave a comment below and let me know.
Until next time, dear reader.
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