Doubting before you start that creative project?

I’m in the early days before I plan my next novel…I know it’s coming and I feel out of my depth already. I’m planning to write book 3 in the Arlochy series, and already find myself questioning and doubting my abilities, that I can’t even start! Doubting before you start that creative project?

Listening to too many you shoulds?

I have!

I’ve been consuming so much on writing recently like it’s chocolate:

Character development – pacing – marketing – sales tactics – gaining followers…

I could keep going!

I wanted to vent and talk about being in a stage before creation. I’ve written 4 books – 2 are published, and I am due to write another…but I can’t get over to that special creative flow yet.

I see it over there, it’s waving to me – but I’m stuck in the mud…

I get a visual of the horse in the movie Never Ending Story…wow, that stayed with me through adult hood! No one gets the reference? Perhaps best if you don’t.

So, I’m stuck – and I think I know why. I’m looking too far into the future that it’s paralysing me. And the funny thing is – no matter how many times I’ve started a new project and worked through my ‘issues’ – it still comes up. I know my fear is just a natural thing that occurs before I step outside my comfort zone, and I know that looking too far in the future can hinder my mindset.

But again…I’m back in the dithering, self doubting version of myself:

What if I put all this work in and it goes nowhere?

I’m not doing what the marketing books said. Does this mean I’ll fail?

Looking at other people’s wins

Success stories are great to hear, but what worked for one person – does not mean it will work out the same way for others.

We can all guess – but no one really knows!

I like to tell myself that. Particularly with writing books – there’s so much information out there to tell you ‘the way’ to do it in order to be the next big thing. But just like the big publishing house – Penguin Random House said everything in publishing is “random”.

Even one of the biggest publishers in the world doesn’t know what will be successful!

Random.

So that doesn’t fill me with much confidence. Basically noone knows, whatever they’ve done it may have worked for them – but it’s trial and error. I’ve just got to feel my way in this.

What do I want to write? What can I write?

Let that lead me…

Let me ask you that question. Are you like me, an author or a creative starting something, but resisting moving forwards?

What do you want to do?

What feels good?

Not too far into the future

Trying to know an end goal all the time can make you hesitate to even begin. Many people would disagree with this, stating that by knowing your vision and working towards that, is key. Sometimes it is. But I think when it comes to creativity, you need to let your passion be the push, not to try to push your passion into something else because you see there’s a market there.

So be honest with yourself, what makes you excited about your creativity?

For me, I love writing, I love drafting a novel and chipping away at it over the months. I like creating my own writing routine, which usually involves waking early and typing on my computer beside candlelight.

Of course I want success. Sure, I’d love to be a best seller with my books turned into movies! Who wouldnt?!

But right now, I need to put the time in. Nothing is likely to happen overnight. I need to continue writing, getting more books out there, all the while getting better at my craft.

I am still listening to what the success stories are out there, as they spur me onwards, but I know my success will be different. If I just listen to my own intuition too and trust that, then great things can come from it….I hope!

Let your own creativity be the guiding light.