I did something I didn’t think I’d do the other night….after seventeen years of wearing a tongue piercing – I removed it and put it in the bin. Gone. This feels like the beginning, I am letting go of my old self to embrace who I am now…
It may sound silly, but this tongue piercing had formed my identity; once I left home, I went to college, dyed my hair bright red, listened to rock music and got my tongue pierced. It was me. I felt I could be myself, it showed my alternative personality.
But as I recently looked at myself in the mirror, I was unsure of who I am. The last couple of years has weighed down on me – excluding the whole Covid craziness, I had a baby on the other side of the world, trapped with the travel restrictions and in-between I lost both my parents…
It made me feel like a blank slate.
This might be the start of something new. But since the sorrow of bereavement still hangs over me, I’m just letting this slow time set in. But I knew one thing – I’m not wearing a tongue bar anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved tongue piercings, and if you have one then go you! But for me, it felt it belonged to someone else. I am someone new. I’ve changed.
Fighting Change
As a new mum, I wanted to hold onto that old part of me. I didn’t want to ever give up myself for motherhood to solely be ‘only a mum’.
But we need to let go of things to grow. If something is no longer serving you, thank it – and let it go….
I use the example of my tongue bar for this. But that doesn’t mean I no longer love rock music… or that I am now a full paying member of the mum’s society who only wears pastels and talks about nappies!
No!
It just means I’m ready to see where things take me, to grow and change.
Is It Bad To Change?
Changing within yourself is not typically seen as a good thing. For someone to change, it has negative connotations:
“You’ve changed!” as someone might say dismissively.
or “Babe, I’ll change!” a cheating partner might plead.
But we can’t stay the same. Life experiences make us wiser. We learn and form new ideas.
Remaining the same is impossible.
Fear Of Change
Changing is going into the unknown.
Or maybe you already feel like you know who you are; where you were born, what music you like, what politics you support – all this is wrapped up in identity.
Most people are scared of change – and may want you to stay as you are. They are comfortable this way and want everything to stay the same. This is to do with their own insecurities and rooted in fear.
Change may be hard, especially if it affects how you see the world. You may find that dear friends drift away. But being your ‘authentic self’ (as often spouted online!) – means you will attract new friends and be happier in the knowledge that you are simply being ‘you’.
Start Your Own Personal Journey
No-one can tell you how to change. I can’t tell you how to embrace your change, or how to look for change. This is something that you must do in your own time. What I will do is share what I’m seeking out:
Letting Go Of My Old Self To Embrace Who I Am Now
My advice…
Quiet the noise and clutter:
Little things can occupy the mind – what people think of you, what your neighbours are doing…etc
We are a world filled with opinions, and that clutters up space in our heads too. Give yourself a night off from social media, try to cut down on reading the news. It may seem like the world is a dark and scary place just now, but reading those articles just brings more negativity into your own world.
Focus on the good and look to start small acts of kindness…it is in these moments that you can change lives for the better.
Go into a new peaceful environment
Get out into nature – sit under the stars and watch the moon every night to see the change in it’s cycles.
There is a big beautiful world out there, which is bigger than us all.
Look to higher things, rather than focusing on lower, negative thoughts.
Learning, adapting, and growing as a person happens the older we get. Don’t be afraid to explore where you fit in this world. Change is inevitable. It just is.
The journey may come easily, or it may be a bumpy road ahead. But it is your journey. Enjoy the exploration! Good luck!
Your Turn
Are you experiencing a deep change in your life? Is it scary to move into the unknown or an exciting prospect?
If you enjoyed this, have a look at my previous posts such as – Where to turn when you’ve lost your way
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